Az élet... - Life...

... szívás. Bocs a csúnya szavakért.

...

... it sucks. 'xcuse my language. Lately - since being alone and only bothered by the whining of a cousin who had her first heartbreak at the age of 26 - first time in my life, I was able to think about myself mostly without other's influences. I'm very easily influenced, prone to compromises and looking at anybody else's well-being before my own; and at the same time, i'm not really kind.
I guess losing a parent while being very young does have a profound effect on one's life. Not that i did not knew this; i just mean, i realized lately, how profound and more... subconcius it is.
In lots of things, i was always more mature than those of the same age; but i only figured out lately that i was also more immature at other aspects, too. Like in the upper grades of elementary; now i know why some of the teachers had problems with me: here's a smart, serious-thinking girl, good in academics - who giggles the day away and just can't sit on her chair properly. I drove my homeroom teacher mad all the time unintentionally; my mom was called in to discussions about me on two occasions, oh and one of them was because i was bullied by my classmates. So she called my mom. Well done.
And then high school, well that was ok, i guess because of the hordes of adolescents around i didn't stood out, especially after the third year, when i found real buddies and even friends :)
Than the uni, which, thinking back, was a disaster, where everyone just went on their own way, everyone seemed to know what they want, except me. Oh, and the profound lack of kindred spirits still knocks me off. It ought to have been a freethinking, well-read society with a broad range of interest in every subject as well as in the world - but I rarely had interesting conversations aside of what courses do we have. Simply put, no one seemed to being interested in anyone else beside themselves maybe except for study material, and maybe if their musical/fashion/theater tastes were an exact match. For example, I took up a history class once. In an other department, other building, where everyone else around was a history or archeology major, and here i come from the language department. Any questions? Nope. Looked through me. Not one question about "how come a swedish-estonian student wants to learn about heraldry?" or "hey, you're other faculty, what do you learn there exactly?", or not even a chat about their own classes. Just plain dull uninterest and talking about the wheather. Ok, being extremely shy did not help, but the lack of of "being interested"... oh boy.
Funny enough, my workplaces - all of them factories - where all more interesting places with more interesting people then this big-named university. Ivy-league is the same everywhere i guess.
And then about a year or a half ago, me cusin sa'd to me "i just cant understand you, coz you are so different of any of my other friends". Sure. Good. And as i'm sensible enough not to humiliate others right away when they are idiots with me, but try to figure out first what's the reason of them being a jerk, i did not tell her "because none of them lost their father at age four, d***head, as you are very well aware of". As most of my strangeness goes back to that event and even more so onto it's aftermath. But nevermind, from someone who lived 25 years and only realized in the last two that how good and happy a life she had, i cant possibly expect to comprehend why someone like me behaves and thinks like i do. Even if she grew up with me and knew about most of the things. Ignorance is bliss.

Or am i being too emphatic again?

Behatások - Inputs

Ha már alkotásokról nem tudok írni, mert az ugye lassabban megy...

...

Well i can't write about crations them being much longer to do than just reading/listening/watching...

Watched: Harry Potter and the chamber of Secrets. My least favourite amongs the hp books, and probably among the movies too. Lockhart is a great character, but annoying nevertheless, as is the whole story with all the backlashes of fame and a nasty reptile going around. ok, since the sixth book i look it a bit differently too, but still. Anyways, done, watched, let's proceed to the next one :)

Listening: Guns'n'Roses: Use Your Illusion II. Oh my. Almost forgot how cool this band is, 'specially this album. Ususally i listen to more harder music ( not rock, but metal) but lately they have a depressing effect on me, so Guns' is the right for me now. Still has great gitar stuff, is rock, and is postive.
On an interesting note, a few years back, i met up a coiple of kids at a Tolkien meeting who were 5-7 years my junior. And when i heard a guns' song in the radio, and said, hey, listen! they didn't even know this band existed! Crazy. But two years later, i run into a few of them, in a middle of an In Flames concert. So i guess they aren't lost completly :)

(Will be) reading: Jane Austen: Persuasion. Bought it on saturday for 20 p, and even started to write a post from that (day) but then we went out to cinema so its unfinished. I cant decide if its alright to post something out of order/dated back... anyways, i'm looking forward for the book, coz unlike Sense ans Sensibility, i did not read or see it in any form before, i dont know anything about the book aside of who wrote it.

Filmek - Movies

Inkheart: After missing a couple of fantasy films in the last two years, i finally got to see one - it was really refreshing. Liked it :) Nothing special, just a good, fairy-tale-y, fantasy book-ish one-and-a-half hour.

Angels and Demons: The problem with Dan Brown's books is, at least with this and the Da Vinci code, that they are written so movie-like that they can't be made into a really good movie. The filmmakers done well though, the shortings and plot-cuts were finely made, there was some humour (the second scene in the archives was hilarious), the plot did made sense (mostly), and it was nice to see Ewan McGregor again. And wasn't as scary as the book, at least for me.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone: I'm actually in the middle of this, but this is the first time i watch it with original audio - in english, and not in hungarian dub. I always thought that the audio just doesn't go smooth with the visuals, and im actually glad that this was only because of the hungarian dub; the original is really good. Now i understand why did they choose that kid to play Harry :)

Reaktorhűtő - Reactor Coolant

Több hetes gondolkodás után végülis megvettem Julie-tól a Reactor Coolant-ot (Reaktor hűtő). Kézzel festett, kézzel font, és egy hónapja szemezek vele; volt egy Berry Picking (kb Bogyószedés) nevű fonala, na az első pillantásra nagyon megtetszett, de addig gondolkoztam rajta, kb másfél napig, hogy mire észbe kaptam, már elkelt. Ha jól emlékszem, nem én voltam az egyetlen aki sajnálta, hogy elszalasztotta :)
Ezért nem kapkodtak annyira, és csak egy kicsivel tetszik kevésbé, mint a másik, úgyhogy remélem nem keveri el a királyi posta - habár eddig megbízhatónak bizonyultak.

Csak mert amúgy nincs elég fonalam. (Jajj, szakad a plafon :D )

...

So, after weeks of thinking i finally bought the Reactor Coolant by Julie. Handpainted, handspun, and i'm eyeing it for a month. She had had an other yarn named Berry Picking before; well, i had a crush on that yarn, but hesitated too long (one and a half day) and it was already bought by someone else at that time. If im remember correctly, i wasn't the only one who regretted missing it :)
This one proved less popular, but i only like it a tiny bit less then the other, so i hope her majesty's postal service will not loose it or something (though so far they proved reliable).

Just 'coz i dont have enough yarn. (Oh my, the ceiling is coming down :D )

Normális - Normal

... az, hogy amikor eszembe jut, hogy hoppá, meg kellene öntöznöm a virágaimat, akkor ugyanabból a vizesüvegből öntök rájuk, amiből én is iszok?

(Azért még mindig elcsodálkozok azon, hogy nem pusztultak meg. Mégsem vagyok teljesen fekete-ujjú :)

...

Is it normal that when i remember to water my plants, i use the same plastic bottle i used to drink water of?

(I'm still in constant surprise of them being still alive. Maybe I'm not completely black-thumbed :)

Nyaralás - Holiday

Két napig szabin vagyok, jeee :) Plusz a hétvége. Sajna rendrakással kell(ene) telnie...

Tegnap kiolvastam az Értelem és Érzelem -et, angolul. Hát mit ne mondjak, bonyolult volt ezzel a sok régies szerkezetű (kör)mondattal, és sokszor azt sem tudtam, épp kiről beszélnek... Azért még mindig tetszik. Eddig nem tűnt fel, hogy mennyire szarkasztikus Jane Austen, talán mert ez volt a normális, úgy értem hogy a való életben is, és inkább a többi írónál éreztem azt, hogy valami hiányzik, nem nála a jelenlétét.

A lassan már harisnyáim lassan kész lesznek - föl akarom használni hozzá az összes fonalat, szerintem simán föl fog érni térdig. Csak most a sok nulla agymunkát igénylő sima után, 2x2-es bordát kötök, és figyelnem kell rá! Már úgy elszoktam ettől...

... Two days of holiday, yeah :) plus the weekend. Sadly I ought to spend them by cleaning...

Yesterday I finished (or i finished yesterday? whatever) 'Sense and Sensibility'. Weel, it was a really hard read for me: lots of old-fashioned and difficult sentences, and sometimes i did not even know, who is the subject of the conversation. I still like this book though.
I didn't realize before how sarcastic Jane Austen is - i guess i rather felt that other miss something.

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I'm slowly finishing the stockings too - i want to use up all the yarn, so they will reach knee-height, i guess. Its just the ribbing now, wich holds me back - after mindless st st round after round, now i have to pay attention to the 2x2 rib - so strange!