Friday

Here i am again, sitting at home after phoning in to my workplace and telling them i can't go in todaysorry coz blah blah stomach problems blah blah depression blah sorry blah blah. Lately, it's happening nearly every week. Last week i managed to go in every day, this week was just mental. I literally had to fight through the first two days, gave up for tuesday afternoon, and went in wednesday looking the same as i did the previous two days. Yesterday was okay-ish but i think having to work with someone in my state took the toll on my colleagues and they were as morose as i was. Today, i was sort of ok, at least compared to the start of the week. But i gave up. I shoul've put out the rubbish and just couldn't do it on time. My stomach started to hurt - lately, it hurts every morning. It gets better later, but i'm tired of it. I also misunderstood a text P. sent me - damn my english is still not good enough.
So i gave up. I just stood in the kitchen surrounded by rubbish bags. Then i phoned in and gave those stupid excuses - which even tho are true, still make me feel like i'm lying (Had to look up how to spell that. Argh.)
I decided i'll be a good girl. I'll do all the chores i should've weeks ago but couldn't bring myself 'coz "i need the weekend to rest". I'll sort all the papers and official stuff that's laying around. Ask for an appointment with my gp coz i never, ever had problems with my stomach and now i do and it makes me worried. Maybe even go to the shop so i don't have to drag P. out tomorrow.

But i'm still just sitting here, angry at the telly coz they don't have any soothing-nature-documentary on any channels we have. Yeah, that's the biggest problem with life.

Saturday, blah blah

It's amazing how two cr@ppy workdays can totally get me down even in spite of the weekend.

Hightlights of the day: starbucks has they christmas season menu on which means pecan and caramel cheesecake + after 6 hours of playing P did pass the laptop to me so i could play Simcity.

It's 11/11/11

... and not 11/11/11, bloody americans. ;)

Had a very very long day. Bad sleep, horrible morning, bad thoughts all day long. :(

It's 11/11/11

... and not 11/11/11, bloody americans. ;)

Wednesday

... when nothing happened. Washed dishes, played on laptop, knit a few rows. Yawn.

Coming up tomorrow: back to work. Arrgggh.

Tuesday

I was nervous today all day. Managed to wake up more smoothly then the last two days and also skipped breakfast in the process simply by waking up at 9:59 and eating my tea-and-toast at the teabreak-time. After that, it was just waiting for three o'clock when i had my second counseling session. I spoke a lot again but at this time we did some problem solving too. And it was soooo good that i didn't had to go back to work afterwards! I don't mind working before but having had to go back for one more hour last time, it just made it feel like i didn't even left.
I don't know where am i heading with this whole counseling thing, i guess i'm just trying to see cleaner? And also i've done enough thinking on my own, now i want to know if i did got those things right or not :)

Ah and then watched this " Man Lab" thing with James May (all those guys on Top Gear are crazy lol) and seen the most amazing animal funerals EVER. They attached cameras to balloons, sent them up , then around 30 thousand meters they blew up and the cameras fell back. I heard about people doing the same before to make photos but this was still really cool.